Monday, December 5, 2011

My Mom

 Even though I don't show it very well,
Even though I constantly mess up,
Constantly fall,
Constantly stumble over my words and mistakenly hurt her,
I love my mom.




She is a beautiful woman, 
Full of strength,
Full of life,
Full of love and hope and joy.
I love my mom.


I have watched her as our family has gone through hard times -
I have watched as she doesn't give up,
How she always fights for her family.
I have watched as she works herself until she is exhausted so that she can put another meal on the table.
I have watched her do five loads of laundry a day,
I have seen how she teaches the small children,
How she talks with us older children,
and
I have watched as she pours out her heart for us.
I love my mom.


I have watched while she hurts -
Whether physically or emotionally.
I have watched as she has cared for a family of eleven and I have watched as she cares for two elderly parents.
I have watched as she is in pain from a broken vertebrae and yet she keeps going, keeps working, keeps providing, keeps loving.
I have watched, shamed, as I hurt her through something I did, something I said, 
And I have watched as she always forgives me, always loves me, always accepts me.
And through all of this,
As I have watched,
I have realized
Just
How
Much
I love my mom.

And just how much she loves me.



I realize just how much I value her friendship, just how much I need her in my life. 
I realize just how much I love her.
When I speak to her,
I can never seem to find the words to say it all.
I can never find the words that will express my thoughts, 
the words that will tell her just how much I love her and value her and admire her 
and just how much I hurt when she hurts, how much more it hurts when I realize that I've hurt her.




I love you, mom, and I couldn't imagine my life without you.